God said...

My son has learned a new way of trying to get things to go his way. He knows crying won't work. He's tried tantrums to no avail. So now he is resorting to religion. The other day, Eben had the desperate longing to give his monster trucks a bath. "It's okay, mom," he reassured me as he climbed up on the stool and began to turn on the faucet. "It's okay....God said." He's even tried it after a few failures. Attempting to pacify my disappointment, he smiles up at me, "It's alright, mom. God said it's alright."

Although I'm certain Eben is not communing with the Almighty on such matters, as Josephine saucer-eyed joked, "Um, what if our little brother really did talk to God?!" But his little voice has caused me to reflect on how many justifications I make, using my own reasoning, calming myself with what I think God would want for me. Do I do this when I look at His text, bringing my own feeble presuppositions and interpretation? Or how about when I make decisions assuming I know what is best?

Is it just me, or is it terribly difficult to muffle our own desperate yearnings and trust Him to show the best way?! What if I really, Truly NEED to put those trucks in the water??? May God give me the peace to quiet my own think so's, and learn to "be still and know" that He is God (Psm. 46:10).


The Lord looks down from heaven; he sees all the children of man;
From where he sits enthroned he looks out on all the inhabitants of the earth,
He who fashions the hearts of them all and observes all their deeds...
Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear him, on those who hope in his steadfast love,
that he may deliver their soul from death and keep them alive in famine.
Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield.
For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name.
Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you.
(Psm. 33)

The Sleep of a Child

Each night before I go to bed, I tiptoe into my children's rooms. Their peaceful demeanor, quiet baby faces, and slow steady breathing gives me a serenity and calm before closing my eyes for the night. If they wake in the middle of the night, all they need do is call, and I will come to help, offering what relief I can. I'm not saying I run up the stairs with a joyful heart, because frankly that big bad duck trying to bite them in their dream seems a ludicrous reason to interrupt my sleep. But I do actively listen to them, pray with them, and try to silent their fears. I'm thankful that I can give them this, because I know it is not a constant for children the world over.

A novel I read made a reference to children of America appearing to be utterly at peace in their sleep. They don't twist themselves into a ball or stuff themselves beneath a cabinet. They do not sleep with open eyes the way other children are forced to learn. Our children stretch out long and wide, dreaming of sugarplums while waiting for handouts from the tooth fairy. The thought has stuck with me, as I see mine all sprawled out on their beds in various positions. I'm thankful they have a feeling of safety and security.

Nights are intended to be a time of rest and quiet. Yet often mine are filled with wrestling and stirrings of the heart--- counting the tasks needing completion, planning a strategy to accomplish, evaluating and reviewing the day's events and how I handled them. I'm certain these concerns I ponder are petty in the grand scheme of things, but still in those quiet dark hours they loom over me. There is a comfort offered to me though, if only I would call out and trust, lay down those burdens and fall back into the sleep of a child. What a gift to be loved and be safe!

"You, O Lord, are a shield about me...I cried aloud to the Lord, and He answered me....I lay down and slept; I woke again, for the Lord sustained me." (taken from Psalms 3)

"Ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent...and put your trust in the Lord...In peace, I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." (taken from Psm. 4)

Legacy

So, I'm driving from San Antonio, TX back to Abilene, TX. It's dark. I'm tired. There are NO cars on these long deserted miles and miles of interstate. I listen to my tunes, but after seeing those dashes of paint on the road for hours, my thoughts are gonna go. You know my mind can't ever go blank for long.

Who on earth dedicated their lives to putting down this asphalt? Who spent countless hours measuring, sweating, and paving this road just to leave it there for someone else to use? They don't even get to sit on the sidelines, waving, and taking credit for all of the use it gets from complete strangers. They poured themselves into it, then vanished, never to be thanked, never to be acknowledged. Hopefully, they know that it was a very good deed they did, and that they changed lives.

How many other silent heroes have gone on before us? Making sacrifices, pouring their lives into us, without us even realizing? I'm sure we cannot even begin to count. Some did it with their money, some with their power and prestige, and some with their bare hands and hearts.

Christ came to this earth for such a short time. He poured Himself into His mission. Look at the influence He had. Look at the constant change in millions and millions of lives even after He left centuries ago. He wasn't rich, He didn't change the world with His money. He changed it with His behavior, His words, and His love.

As a mom, I'd like to think that's what I'm doing (No, not being Jesus:-). I'm pouring myself, my time, my sweat, my tears and joys into these kids. Many souls will run into my children throughout their lives and not know the efforts I have poured into them. Often they themselves will not even remember the times it broke me to stick with a punishment I'd given, or the millions of "Ew's" and "Ah's" I'd gasped at their stories, or even the relentless serving of meals and laundry. But I'm not doing it for the thank you's. I'm not doing it for acknowledgement. I'm hoping they'll grow up to influence others for good, that they will change lives for the better, that through them I will have left a legacy that stretches out there like that highway, always of use to others, always a constant, always a light in this world.

Hands, Feet, and Hearts

Each night our routine includes family prayers. As all of us do, our kids have regular phrases they include in their prayers. For example, there is the infamous, "Please help us not to get the stomach BUG" which led to Eben's fears of "Big Bugs" getting him at night. But Thessy's prayers are always an enigma to me; she fills them with such random comments. I never know where she is going with hers, what she will include, or how long it will carry on. Every night it is a surprise and beautiful treat. She prays for her Great Papa, who misses her Great Grandma. She prays for her aunt who misses her frog who died over a year ago. The other night, she thanked God, with long pauses between, "Thank you for our hands....our feet....and our hearts." At first, it seemed so random and even unusual of a mix. But it's played over and over again in my head. In those three simple things, she covered our what, where, why, who, and how.
Hands are the what we do, our actions. Feet are the where we go, where we choose to be and surround ourselves with. Hearts are why we do what we do, what we feel, what we think, who we are!
As I sit there nightly wondering if I should limit the length of her prayers, counting the minutes ticking by, may my hands fold in respect, my feet calm in letting her talk, and may my heart look inward and praise the One who has blessed me so richly with precious hidden messages.

Friendship in spite of it all

Growing up, we moved a lot. Used to, I believed it a disadvantage. How could I make friends if I was moving away and having to start over again and again? What was the point? Why pour myself into a friendship if it's only going to be severed by distance? What I didn't realize back then is that a true friendship never ends; it melds and reshapes to fit. Yes, the time together may grow to be less or become difficult to manage, but it continues none the less. It shapes and touches you forever. Often we don't even realize the significance and influence of a friend until they are no longer right there with us. I was reminded by my daughter of this, "Looking back, I know they were my best friends."
I'm thankful to live in an age where I can pick up the phone, hear a voice, read a text, compose an email, even converse on a screen and be reconnected right away with a heart hundreds of miles away.
Beware, I'm about to get deep: we walk around this life passing face after face, heart after heart. What is it that causes us to pause at a certain individual, open the door, share, and allow an opportunity for friendship to bloom? How do all those pieces fall into place at a certain time in life to work for good? Can we say it depends on mood? circumstances? accidents? providence? Whatever the reason, when it works, it's a beautiful thing!
Tonight, I'm thanking my Best Friend, the One who already knows my thoughts and heart. Through thick and thin, through all parts of this country, He's listened and stuck regardless of my neglect or fickleness. No need for technology, or a scheduled time, He listens constantly and has blessed me richly. Life without friendship, especially His, would be so empty. The Lord knows I'm not always the easiest person to be friends with, and I often am not all I should be in a friendship - But He has blessed me richly in friendships, in spite of myself and for that I am truly thankful.

The Inevitable

Parents' eyes see the obviousness of cause and effect. Like a scary movie, with intense music crescendoing to an inevitable and obvious outcome:
If Daughter carries around a pocket knife, laying it here and there and everywhere - it will be left behind in a store, on a counter, and remembered later.
If Son wrestles with a sick friend, laughing and growling in each others' faces - a runny-nose and week's worth of sickness will incur.
If Daughter sets brand new, super full cup of hot chocolate on the very edge of the table outside on a windy day - it will blow over, covering the table, the chair, and random blown over boxes of Girl Scout cookies.
If one does not hold on tight to the swing - one will fall off (view video here)

If only they'd listen, trust, and accept - SO many accidents, ailments, and catastrophes could be prevented. Escape would have been provided if they'd acted in faith on the belief that "Mother Knows Best." But isn't life a learning process and wisdom developed by the provision of experiences? We allow our kids to exert their free will in things...knowing that pains may come. We protect where we can to keep them safe, but also let them fall with the expectation that they'll decide better next time. The inevitable will come, they will act on their own! We have to hope that we've provided enough foundation they can handle decisions...with a reminder that all they have to do is ask, and we will be there to help.

Our Father, who know all, sees the obvious cause and effects in our lives. He knows if we have evil companions, our good morals will corrode. He knows if we build our "house on the sand," it won't just settle a little, but "great will be the fall." If only we'd listen, trust, and accept - SO many accidents, ailments, and catastrophes could be prevented. Escape would have been provided if we'd acted in faith on the belief that "Father Knows Best." He spouts out these warnings and hopes we listen. Yet, He provides us with the free will to decide for ourselves. He gave us enough foundation that we can handle future decisions...with a reminder that all we have to do is ask, and He will be there to help.

Perhaps this week I will trust He knows the Inevitable and listen better to my Parent's advice. And perhaps my kids will follow in their mother's footsteps....or perhaps we'll have another week of lost pocket knives, runny-noses, sticky feet, and scuffed knees. Hmmmm...I'll hope for the former.

3, 2, 1, Action

Thessaly has become quite the drama queen in our family. I've mentioned before how her moods are either absolute adorable sweetness or the scariest incredible hulk you've ever seen. Well, as she grows up, she is taming her "gift". As a result, we're finding her a constant source of entertainment. If she's in the right mood, you can get her to do impressions from movies or voices she's heard. Even her Spanish teacher boasts that Thessaly is a natural linguist who can immediately pick up an accent. Here's a sampling of our little actress:
Thessaly's Impressions