Thorn in Her Side

The other day there was one of those perfect teachable moments, where the clouds part, the sun shines directly down, and you hear that "Ahhhhh!" chorus in your head making clear that as a parent you'd better seize this opportunity.

Jo came to me tearing up, with thorns stuck to her socks and the legs of her jeans.  She exclaimed, "Why me?  Why does everything bad always happen to me?  All I was doing was trying to sit in this field and watch."  With a tender hand and a loving hug,  we discussed why trials come our way, how bad things happen to both the good and the bad alike.  We talked about rising above our struggles and making the outcome count.  We even delved into counting our blessings, not focusing on the negative, and how we can become aware of other's "thorns" and offer encouragement.  Once I removed the final sticker, she breathed a sigh of relief and contentment, wiped away the tears, and with a smile and a hug, she turned to run and play with her siblings while I gave myself a prideful pat on the back with another mission accomplished.
My eyes nearly bulged out of my head when I witnessed the back of poor Jo Jo Bug's pants.  She was covered in those pesky spiky things!!! I mean literally, 30 stickers getting ready to attack her rear as soon as she decided to slide down that super fun slide.  All of my words of wisdom mockingly looked me in the face and challenged, "Now what?!"
It was then that I realized this was one of those teachable moments, not for her, but for ME!  My Father showed me how hardships in life here can actually get much worse in our eyes before we see the light and relief of it getting better.  He reminded me that this is a race of endurance, one that He'll accompany us on, and be there at the finish to reward our success if only we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and persevere.
This time, she handled the trial like a pro, and I, humbled now, thanked God for His constant lessons of survival and enduring love.

The "Mommy's Shower Law"

You know how Murphy's Law states that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong?  Well, this Mommy has come to a conclusion that I'm certain moms the world over will confirm.  I like to call it the "Mommy's Shower Law."  It states that if kids will do something crazy, it is going to happen as soon as Mommy steps foot in the shower.
As mothers, we know no matter how short we keep it, whether it be as brief as washing hair and body in the same length of time it takes our spouses to get the water adjusted right, or as luxuriously long as allowing time to actually shave one leg, SOMETHING is going to happen!
I've tried to outsmart the Mommy's Shower Law with all sorts of tricks and techniques....plug the children into a movie (yep, the show is going to stall), let them play electronics (most likely the battery will go dead), sneak it while they sleep (you know a doorbell is gonna ring)....the list goes on and on.
How bad can it get, some naive reader may ponder...to which I laugh, Hahahaha!!!  Let's see...maybe I should tell of the time my little sprite thought it the perfect moment to leap onto the couch, slip off, and break her arm.  Or maybe I should delve into the time scissors were discovered and a sister's hair was given the "layered" look, very short layered look.  Nah, I think I'll share with you the legendary burnt popcorn story.
Once upon a time, all of my minions were calm and in their wide-eyed zombie state entranced by their favorite cartoon.  It should have been safe to grab a quick shower, right?!  However, as the water heated, Little Bit got a sudden craving for popcorn, but since Mommy's Shower was running she knew she could heat it up in the microwave herself.  Little did she know that one extra zero added to the time of 2 minutes would cause smoke to bellow from the kitchen.  Since the emergency rule of the house is "Meet at the mailbox in case of fire," Baby Girl took off sprinting outside, leaving the front door wide open  As I am obliviously in the first step of "lather, rinse, repeat," the door bursts open to blood curdling screams of chaos.  Leaping from the shower and yanking a towel around me to accompany me on the latest adventure, I run out to find the front door wide open, the neighbors agape at what the crazy homeschoolers are up to this morning, and flames lighting up the microwave.  We all survived, the burnt black once recognizable ball of crust was thrown into the sink and the fire put out,  Baby Girl was allowed back inside the house, the cartoon was finished, and I was able to rinse out the first layer of lather.  But to this day, every wiff of popcorn or every swing of the yellow stained microwave door sends me a reminder that Mommy's Shower Law is in fact valid and true.  There is no escaping it.
So, what's the solution? I'm not sure if it will work, but I'm gonna try Baths!  :-)

And yes...that would be soda...on my bed...in her pajamas....sigh!!!

Why?!

After wrestling and struggling with a difficult challenge, my eldest mourned, "I just don't understand why!  Why me?!  Why this?!"  How many times have I looked to the heavens and asked these very words.  It's not a new question, but the answer is one which I constantly need reminding.

As a parent, I can tell you, I allow my children to be tried and face challenges because I know they can handle them, learn from them, and grow into a stronger person.  I know, I know...what trials does a little child have, right?!  True, they may not seem extreme or life changing...those pesky 7 times tables, that challenge of approaching a possible new friend and making conversation, putting the right shoe on the right foot.  I can see the end result coming, a smooth road just around the corner for them, but from their perspective these are HUGE.  They can call to me to help, and sometimes I run to assist because I see they truly need me, and other times I stand back, encouraging them from afar, watching them learn to succeed.

As a child of God, I question, I struggle, and I'll admit it--sometimes I flounder, questioning, "Why?!"  What trials do I face?  To me they seem extreme and life changing.  From my perspective they are HUGE.  But from His???  I call to Him for help, and sometimes He is clearly right there assisting me, and then other times where is He?  Standing back, encouraging me from afar, watching me learn to succeed?  I pray He finds us growing and that thru these "houses of mourning" we can see that these trials are here as a stepping stone to something much, much greater.

Coming out of the Quiet Closet

Silence is golden, unless you have a toddler...in which case, it can be very suspicious!
When silence permeates the walls of my house, I know something mischievous is lurking behind closed doors.  In a few such moments, little man has found the food closet.  In his desperation to partake of the forbidden cookies, he sneaks into the dark closet, closes the door behind him, and (in spite of his fear of the dark) crouches in the corner and silently munches.  When caught cookie-handed, mouth full, and guilty, he's still quick to point the blame elsewhere, "My mouth did it, not me!"
What must our Father know when He hears our silence - our missed prayers, our closed Biblees, our absent meditations.  Isn't our silence an immediate indication that we are not where we are supposed to be?  that we are not doing what we should be doing? We know we're guilty.  We know that He knows.  How quickly do we come up with an excuse, or an accusation of fault on anyone else but ourselves.
I love my baby boy in spite of the frivolous errors of his ways.  I reprimand, correct, and expect better of him, but I still adore that mischievous spirit and hope to train it to work for good.  How much more so must God feel towards me?!

Affected by Affection

How long do you need to know someone to have an effect on them?  How many times do your paths need to cross to truly change someone's life?  We've lived in many places and met many people...some have set up permanent residence in our hearts in a matter of moments and changed us forever, while others have crossed our paths multiple times weekly for years and still have not crossed that line.  What is it that we say or do that matters to others?  How is it that sometimes people just "click"?

My grandmother was one of those people who could change your life just by a conversation and a hug.  She'd meet a stranger at the store, and by the end of the shopping trip walk away with a friend.  My adopted grandpa, Ralph Walker Sr., was another one who began changing my life by his simple act of giving me a hug after services one night. 

I was reminded of their open hearts when an elderly man at the store the other day, stopped me and handed me a diamond necklace (well, a "dime-and-necklace" see pic).  The small gesture led to a wonderful conversation for my kids and myself...one that will probably be with us for years to come, even if our paths never cross him again.

When I think over the people and actions that have changed my life so drastically, I realize that it was always them opening themselves and generously giving...not necessarily physical gifts, but emotional ones...words, hospitality of home and heart, actions that without a doubt demonstrated they truly cared.

It's not always easy to put yourself out there, especially for this natural introvert, but when you realize the beautiful effect you can have on someone's life by simply showing tiny affections, how can we not reach out?!

Young Love

You remember the days of young love?  How all it took was a word, or a lingering look to cause your heart to skip a beat and set the beautiful tone for the rest of your day.  A note, a conversation, even a smile could make everything else in the day brighter and rose-tinted....and then the debilitating opposite of a back turned, a missed call, or a silence that could bring everything crumbling down around you.  Remember that raw emotion that tears or builds you up starting from deep within your gut?!
Today I wondered who my kids would base those feelings on, and then it hit me....a parent is a child's first love.  If you don't believe me, watch how the words from your mouth soak into them in the early hours of the morning...observe the tone change in their day by the way you converse with them over a meal...mourn the anguish in their eyes when you fail to meet their expectations or listen to them fully.
We all long for love.  If you know someone is aching for yours, why not shower them with it?  Why not give them the gift that you yourself long for?  Keep in mind how it never takes much to build each other up, it's those little things that go a long way...go make someone's day!

God said...

My son has learned a new way of trying to get things to go his way. He knows crying won't work. He's tried tantrums to no avail. So now he is resorting to religion. The other day, Eben had the desperate longing to give his monster trucks a bath. "It's okay, mom," he reassured me as he climbed up on the stool and began to turn on the faucet. "It's okay....God said." He's even tried it after a few failures. Attempting to pacify my disappointment, he smiles up at me, "It's alright, mom. God said it's alright."

Although I'm certain Eben is not communing with the Almighty on such matters, as Josephine saucer-eyed joked, "Um, what if our little brother really did talk to God?!" But his little voice has caused me to reflect on how many justifications I make, using my own reasoning, calming myself with what I think God would want for me. Do I do this when I look at His text, bringing my own feeble presuppositions and interpretation? Or how about when I make decisions assuming I know what is best?

Is it just me, or is it terribly difficult to muffle our own desperate yearnings and trust Him to show the best way?! What if I really, Truly NEED to put those trucks in the water??? May God give me the peace to quiet my own think so's, and learn to "be still and know" that He is God (Psm. 46:10).


The Lord looks down from heaven; he sees all the children of man;
From where he sits enthroned he looks out on all the inhabitants of the earth,
He who fashions the hearts of them all and observes all their deeds...
Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear him, on those who hope in his steadfast love,
that he may deliver their soul from death and keep them alive in famine.
Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield.
For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name.
Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you.
(Psm. 33)