Such a copy cat!

 

I never understood why my kids got so frustrated when a younger sibling would copy them.  How many times did I hear their moanings of “She’s such a copy cat!!!!”  I mean, haven’t we all heard how imitation is the sincerest form of flattery?  I loved it when my kids were in the stages of imitating me, copying my mannerisms, using my expressions, pretending to be a mommy. Seeing them follow in my footsteps was such a compliment and a major responsibility.  Sure I fell short so much more often than I would have liked, but as a parent I embraced their imitation. I took advantage of it to set high expectations, teaching them manners, kindness, and love.  I wanted them to imitate me as I imitated Christ.  When they were little this was easy for me to understand what it should look like. It was seen simply by watching them share their toys, letting someone else go first, meeting the new kid, using please and thank you.  

But now my littles have turned into bigs and the clarity on that imitation of me is not so transparent.  In most cases, they’ve entirely taken out copying me, the middle man. Now they have their own beautiful personalities. Now they express their thoughts and ideas in unique ways…ways not necessarily like mine. At first, the momming side of me worried….they weren’t reflecting what I taught them the way I taught them.  But as they’ve grown and matured, I’ve been in awe. I’ve watched the transformation of them applying the imitation of Christ directly as they should. They have made their following and imitation uniquely their own. They have listened to instruction, learned from fellow Christians, and now are acting as they believe He would have them do.  I’ve witnessed exactly what is described in scripture as us the many being one body with many different parts; they definitely aren’t all going to be the same part as me. I’m admiring and learning as they develop their unique talents and methods, using the individual gifts God has given them to reflect and shine his light. 

I still take joy in the little ways I see myself in them, but I rejoice that as I watch them, I see more clearly the love of Christ and how He works in all of us uniquely.  Watching them walk in his footsteps is priceless! May God continue to use us parents, maybe not so much in the spotlight with our every move copy catted anymore, but in encouraging and imitating Him right along side our children, our brothers, and sisters. 

Ready or Not…

Recently I read an article on a brave Ukrainian woman who was sitting on her patio, minding her own business, when suddenly she spotted a war drone coming up next to her.  Looking around, she took up the only thing she had available and pelted a jar of canned tomatoes right at the drone, knocking it into an unplanned orbit and clean out of the sky. Who knows how many lives she saved in that moment, all because she had the courage and used what she was given.

The legend of this unnamed “jarred hero” reminded me of so many other strong women of the Bible who saw a need and stepped up with whatever they had on hand.  

-Jael, using a tent peg to deliver a nation

-Esther and Abigail using food to “butter up” kings and protect their people

-Rahab using a rope to save her household from a coming destruction

-A sinner using her tears and hair to show her love for Christ

Although we live in the 21st century and equal rights is a constant hot topic, I still often hear submissive women of the church belittling their ability to contribute to the kingdom, with comments about bench warming, more time in the nursery than participating, or “only” teaching children.  Sweet sisters, we are precious in His eyes!  Look around and see what He’s equipped us with, because He has given us each something…whether it be children to raise, food to prepare, ears to listen and shoulders to cry on, or even a jar of canned tomatoes!   There is so much that we can do that no one else can.  We are exactly where we are because He needs us there on that unique path.  We just need to be ready, look around, and use the gifts He’s put here with us. Y’all!!! Please keep nudging me and reminding me of this very thing. It’s so easy to get lost in the busyness and forget what it’s really all about.  I pray for strength, courage, and the awareness to grab what He’s given me and do what I can.

P.S. Thank you to all who have recently reminded me for everything there is a season, staying back with the baggage is just as valuable as being on the front lines, and God prepares us in His own exceptional way. Thank God you’re in my life.

PPS. And a special shout out to a darling sis who had plenty of jars of canned tomatoes to help a girl out.

Living on the Fringe

Do you ever feel like you're being pulled in a billion different directions?  I remember those days when I had 5 littles literally hanging from my arms and legs needing my attention. Now days, they still do, but in different ways....play with me, help me with math, come see what I can do with this ball, I need a ride, can I borrow your credit card, etc., etc.  Don't get me wrong, I love being needed!  I just wish I had the power to be all that they needed, all of the time.  

Isn't the way children need their mother just how we're supposed to be needing Jesus?  We may think we've got it on our own, but each of us is just stumbling along, facing our own individual trials and challenges, needing to touch the fringe of His garment.

Today I'm reminded of Jesus getting off the boat with people of all sorts waiting for Him and all wanting different things...the rulers, the poverty stricken, the sick....wanting to catch Him, wanting to be taught, wanting to be healed.  All of the crowd were just hovering, following, eager for how Jesus could help them.  Then there's that one desperate woman, the one who has been doing all she knows how to do on her own for twelve long painful years.  She's used up all of her money.  She's cried all of her tears.  She's been outcast and alone. Then she hears of a Savior and BELIEVES, knowing that she can't do this life anymore on her own.  She pushes past the throng, everyone shrinking away from her uncleanness, uncomfortable with who she is, wanting no part.  She pushes back the fear of more rejection.  She reaches out her desperate hand...and touches the fringe.

What happens next is what makes this such a beautiful story.  Jesus doesn't just casually acknowledge her.  He doesn't just keep walking.  He stops.  He finds her.  And he listens to her "whole story."  He lets the others wait.  He will get to them.  Right then, she needed him and He shows her that He truly cares.

Why is it that I forget this? Why do I think maybe He's too busy or maybe He hears but He's just not that interested?  In scripture, Jesus over and over again says and demonstrates that He truly cares.  In my life, He's done the same thing. He shows me over and over again just how much He loves me.

May my children know that no matter how busy life is, how much I'm needed here and there, I've got them and I always and forever want to listen.  I truly love and care.  And may being a mom to these precious ones remind me that if I keep that faith in Him that no matter how alone, how scared, how desperate I feel that I can push past all that extra stuff in the way and reach out to the fringe of His garment.  He truly cares, loves, and anxiously wants to listen.

I Fell in the Water They Walked On

Have you ever seen other parents doing everything right? They have the answers. They have the well behaved kids to prove they know what they’re doing. They have the smiles and encouragements. And then you see yourself, a big hot mess of fumbles just smiling along trying your best.  I feel like they’re walking on water, and I’m down here doing the backstroke.

In the Old Testament there’s this king named Rehoboam who was given advice by the elders, but instead he consulted his inexperienced peers and all sorts of bad consequences followed.  I’ve often thought of him on my parenting journey. In one ear, I’ve got these older examples and friends leading and advising how to do this parenting thing and then in my other ear I’ve got this world of social media and propaganda blaring that I’ve got it all wrong.

  I’ve seen a lot of parents doing their thing, crossing those bridges before I get to them.  I’ve witnessed them letting go as their children age out of the house.  I’ve heard them discuss and advise their children as they face new challenges.  I’ve talked with them, asked questions, and listened to the wisdom they’ve gleaned from running the track before me. They don’t all do it the same, but most of the ones I know are doing it beautifully, even though they themselves would say they’re just getting by, winging it.

I’ve also heard and read so much advice and recommendations from articles, online reading, and various sources of news.  It’s not in line with what I’m seeing play out in real life. It’s telling me to let go of my kids and let them live how they want. It’s advising me not to advise them.  It’s warning against discipline and instruction. It’s guilting me into believing that rules, parameters, and parenting really are just limiting children, and taking away their freedoms and happiness.

Who do I listen to? Which team is right? Boy, do I wrestle with each obstacle that arises.  So I do what any logical person would do when under pressure to make tough decisions….I drink a coffee. 😂

In seriousness though, I look at the results…the kids being raised. I see my friends, who have held the line, kept the rules, stayed down on their knees in prayer daily and their children are BEAUTIFUL; they’ve actually grown into well rounded breathtakingly bright and gracious adults.  They're the kind of people you want to be around more…the kind you want your kids to look up to and be like.  Sadly, I’ve witnessed the opposite, too; either parents let loose of the reigns too early or the children just decided to jump the fence and go their own way. Whatever the case, I want to heed the elders’ advice and keep with it, no matter how hard that may be. I want my children to be like Jesus and better this world for Him. In the end, it’s their choice how to live, but you better believe I’m going to try my best to give them a fighting chance and a strong foundation.

I try to walk on water like my friends seem to be doing, making good decisions, parenting in love and patience, but I’ll be honest, I keep slipping in.  I make mistakes, but I keep getting back up again.   I’m so thankful for friends and family who grab my hand and pull me back up, remind me why I’m doing this, remind me to keep my eyes on Christ, help me see His way is best for myself and for my kids. May we all keep our heads above water and our eyes on the one who has all of the answers. Thankfully, He is loyal and gracious. He’s got us, and together we’ve got them.

Remembering

I’ve moved around a lot. Four times before college, then the moves during college, and THEN seven times since marriage (nine if you count moving during renovations, and believe you me, I most definitely count those:-). That’s a lot of places.  That’s a whole lot of people coming in and out of my life. Some have stuck around, kept in touch, still reach out. Some have slowly stepped into the background but still are very much present in my heart. All have affected me in some way.

Looking back, I see such value in those God chose to bring into my life, all for a certain time, a certain reason. I may not be the best at keeping in touch but that doesn’t mean I don’t absolutely treasure those friendships and memories. 

Today, I remember. I remember great joy and laughter. I remember heartache and tears.  I reminisce on conversations and outings.  I think of how we planned, carried out, reflected back, and prayed forward. 

 So many women gave me foundation, teaching me with their words, their parenting, their wrestlings and victories.  They all taught me, whether they knew it or not. I watched. I listened. I learned. And now, I remember them. Thank you!

So many children gave me inspiration, supposedly being taught by me, but doing a great deal of teaching themselves. They loved openly, fully, felt their feelings and let me feel right along with them. How I treasure all those littles and bigs that I’ve been graced to know. How I pray they know how important and loved they are even now. Thank you!

I don’t know what old acquaintances will come back into my life (in this fairytale land of Florida College, I’m sure its more than I ever expected) and what new ones are waiting in the balance about to enter the stage, but I’m so thankful for each one and the part they play in this life of mine.  I’m thankful for the way they helped me and my children grow. I’m thankful for the ways they’ll continue to bring me closer to my life goal of heaven.

Today I remember because my heart misses.  I miss those who live far away; how I wish I could pull them close. I miss those who I’ll not see again because of distance or circumstances.  And oh how I miss terribly the ones who have passed on before me.  Losing a loved one in death is so much more difficult than losing them in a move. We can say it’s similar for we’ll see them again someday on the other side. But we know it is different. They’re not waiting for a text or email.  We’re not getting that Christmas card or phone call. That part hurts like mad. Thankfully, God grants us an amazing gift if we let Him, a memory to feel the love…to remember that touch, that laugh, that meal we ate together, that field trip we took, that craft we decorated, that inside joke we cracked up about, that hug that held my heart and never let go.  Today I reflect on those good times and hold them close in my heart.  I miss. I love. I remember.

Knocking the Air Out

 Have you ever been going along having your day when one person comes along and with one quick conversation just casually knocks the air right out of you? Perhaps they’re having a bad day and can’t keep it to themselves. Perhaps they don’t realize they affect you more than they do. Whatever the reason, words can hurt.  How do you rise above that? How do you take a deep breath and move on without obsessing and being down? I don’t have that answer; I know with prayer and patience and counting blessings you’re off to a good start. But an even more important question is how do you make sure you don’t do that to someone else?  I want to make sure my words don’t punch someone in the gut. I want to know that after I cross someone’s path, I’ve actually been a blessing to them, boosting them up, that I haven’t been an obstacle that only brought them down. As a child, I had to memorize a verse that has stuck with me throughout my life, “Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt.” My mom taught us to practice this with each other, even when the message we had to say wasn’t an uplifting one. We may have nothing nice to say, but if we need to say something, we better make sure it’s delivered with kindness. Whether I’m talking to an adult or to one of my own children, may I speak to them with respect and kindness. My behavior and words are not only a reflection of who I am, but also of Him who expects me to be reflecting His light.

The Strength of Siblings

 One of my most favorite gifts in life is that my parents were brave and bold enough to have five kids. I have the best siblings. They have been with me since as far back as I can remember. And even now, though many of us are states apart, they are still my support and joy.

Many thought me crazy,  but I was granted five beautiful kiddos of my own.  They bless me constantly and my heart is so full because of them. One of the very best things I absolutely love about having a big family is that my kiddos have life long friends automatically built in to their lives.

For years now, I have encouraged them to foster that relationship, to work through their battles, to rise above challenges and lean on each other. From minute to minute, they may be worst enemies or the best of friends. But through all the minutes, they have each other. And that is a pure gift from God!

Although I see them embracing it with Sister Brother Day celebrations, birthdays, holidays, and vacations, I now see them truly leaning on each other daily.  They share their secrets and give each other advice.  They tell each other things they need to say, but are hesitant to share with mom. There’s a piece of me that wants in on that.  Oh how I’d love to listen and hear all the things, but then I remember.  This is one of the gifts of having a sibling. My brother and sisters  are experts at it, and now my kids are becoming that to each other.

Sure we all have our differences and may never see eye to eye on everything, but thank God we have each other. Whether brothers and sisters by genetics or marriage, or by Christ, He uniquely made us with all our differences and similarities and we can compliment each other and be stronger together. Thank you to all the sisters and brothers God’s graciously put in my life who actively check in on me and help me through. I couldn’t do this life without you!