The summer of 2019 was a doozy in every imaginable way. We traveled on trips which took up the time for tasks of summer. We lost a dear friend which took pieces of our hearts. We found out we're moving which has taken everything normal and thrown it up in the air.
Although, I long to put this summer far behind me and move on to the next step, for whatever reason God has said, "Not yet." Our house sale fell through...not moving yet. Our new house purchase was delayed...not buying yet. Our grieving hearts were ready to heal...sadly, sigh...ouch! not yet.
And so I kneel, I bow, and I ask WHY?
In an age when everything is instant gratification, why can't we move forward? We can order a product and have it delivered the next day. We can be hungry for a meal and have it microwaved and ready in 1minute flat. We can stick in a k-pod and have a lovely cup of joe in just seconds. Even in teaching my kiddos, I know that if we put in the work and the time, it's totally gonna happen. So why delay? Why not move forward? Isn't that what we're supposed to be doing?
I read all these verses below about waiting on the Lord and being patient. I see He says He'll renew our strength, He'll give our hearts' courage. But still IT IS HARD!!!
So then I think of it from a parent's perspective...when I tell my kids to wait, why am I doing that? Usually, it's because I know the timing isn't right. I know that it'll be so much more rewarding if the situation were just slightly different. From something as simple as waiting to watch the movie until you've finished reading the book....you'll enjoy it SO much more! To something as sensible as waiting to get your license until you are confident and ready and legal...haha! Maybe even something as clinical as waiting to take that medicine because the timing isn't right and it would do more harm than good. Or something as emotional as waiting on love, it will be so worth it when it's right and good.
And so I wait, not just because I have to, but because I'm trusting Him with my whole life knowing He knows so much better than I do. I close my eyes, breathe, and trust that He knows what He's doing. I step back from the rush and the angst and let God. He's got this! I don't need to be in control this time. I don't need to know exactly what step is coming next if I believe He knows it and is the one in control. May my heart push aside the unrest and may He fill up the rest. And may y'all pray for me, cause I'm a little impatient. ;-)
But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. (Isa. 40:31)
Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord! (Psm. 27:14)
Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and the late rains. You also, be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand. (Jms. 5:7-8)
