One of my girls told me the other day that she honestly believes I'm loving this. I was floored! How on earth could I be loving being stuck home all day every day? But then, it hit me...I'm kind of loving this...kind of hating this....if I'm completely honest, it's a love/hate thing I've got going on. It hasn't been easy trying to keep everyone entertained, schooled, fed, or even sane for that matter. These kids seem to think they need to eat meals every day and then graze all of the hours in between. They want to play electronics 24/7 (and shhh! so do I). Believe it or not, even homeschooling has taken on a different feel.
One of the most trying things about this time is that there are so many unknowns. We don't know when this quarantine will be lifted or if it will be reinstated down the road. We don't know the exacts of how this virus is spreading or even exhibiting itself with different carriers and patients. We don't know how our economy will be effected or how life will change because of this. I feel like we've been living in this realm of "IF." If camp is still going to happen, if the roads between states don't get closed, if no one in our family gets it...if, if, if.
And so I'm learning in a whole new way, I am still not in control. I don't know what the future will bring. I have no clue of what answers to give my kids on more than half of their questions. However, I'm also learning in a whole new beautiful way, that God is absolutely in control.
He knows what's going on. He knows what's going to happen through this and after this. In all of those humongous situations throughout history, He was right there...knowing, loving, and blessing. We are seriously living in this unbelievable point of history right here, right now!!! He knows how our lives and the lives of our children will be changed by this experience. He knows how our hearts will be shaped by the unique fears and hopes that we are dealing with right now. He can use the terrors and disappointments to show us the things we weren't noticing before...the things that were right in front of our eyes but we were too busy to slow down and enjoy.
It's okay to be scared, as long as we're searching for Him through the fear. It's okay to mourn, as long as we're reaching out for His hand to comfort. It's perfectly fine to question why, as long as we keep on believing and trusting that He knows that answer. It may not be the answer we're hoping and praying for, but He's got us. We know that! We know He loves!
So when my kids ask me once again tonight what another tomorrow of quarantine will hold for us, I'm going to say....actually, who knows what I'm going to say (ha, ha!). What I do know is that I'll hug them tight and remind them that I love them madly and that we are all in this together with the Lord as our shepherd. No matter how the world changes, those two things are constant.
