Wednesday, October 16, 2019

Learning to Momma from the Sidelines

Being a mom is one of the most challenging and rewarding jobs out there.  It's one of those positions where attention to detail and nuance catered to each individual personality and circumstance is so intricately demanded.  But if you had to boil it down to a one liner, it's basically keeping your kids safe and training them towards heaven.

I've had my fair share of raising littles.  There were years of youthfulness, running the marathon of motherhood...up before dawn, chasing, protecting, wiping tears, saving them from catastrophes, tickling, giggling, and comforting with momma kisses.  My poor first was my guinea pig, as I learned what motherhood was all about.  My poor last is the caboose, as I know she'll survive when raised by our tribe and not have me doting on her every second; this time around I didn't even read the manual on how to bathe a baby properly.

Now, I'm on to the next realm of raising teenagers.  This is new uncharted territory for me.  Once again, I'm learning as I go, reading what I can to advise me and listening to the wisdom of those brave souls who have forged this path before me.  This go round is a little different.  I'm learning I can't fix everything and am having to play a new role...one from the sidelines.

This is the part where I see if what I taught them has stuck.  I get to witness if they'll remember my constant reminders in the back of their heads as they go out on their own and make their own decisions.  I get to see if they apply those morals I trained into them when they are asked on the spur of the moment to make their own decisions.  I get to sit by in awe and see the wonders of their personalities take shape and go mingle in this world...to watch in amazement as they have their own influence on others and make their own marks.

This is also the part where I can't fix everything with a momma kiss and bandaid.  I can't always pick them up, dust them off, and tell them everything will be just fine, because often now, the things they are beginning to face are not always that simple. I can't rush them to the bone specialist to mend their broken hearts.  I can't fix their insomnia with a song and blanket, or kiss their booboo to heal a broken friendship.  I can't force them to be friendly or make them be who I want them to be.

This is the part where I learn to simply be there for them and prod them along.  I get the privilege of seeing them shine, but also the task of teaching them to shine brighter.  I get the honor of watching them grow brave and venture out, but also the challenge of creating parameters for them to do it safely and beautifully.  It's my responsibility to nudge them from the nest and give them more independence, but also to protect them from going too far, too soon.

And so, right along side of them, I'm learning.  I'm learning to be the ear that is always available, whether it be in the middle of the night or smack dab in the middle of making dinner.  I'm striving to be the voice that encourages, uplifts, praises, and guides them towards goodness.  I'm cheering them on to be the stunning people God plans for them to be and to use those astounding talents He has blessed them with.  And I'm also learning that one of the most important places for me to be is right down on my knees, talking to the Lord and Father of us all who knows this territory all too well.

No matter what the age or what the situation my littles and my bigs face, I know He knows.  And I pray that with a hug and a loving heart I can show them that He is the best solution to anything they face.

And y'all.....remind me of this post when I'm having one of my momma freak outs, k?!

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