"This is Why!"

I'm forever seeing God and His works around me.  Often times, I see it in the small everyday things, like these spacious Texas skies, the healing of baby's runny nose, or the sparkle in my children's eyes.  But yesterday I saw it blaring loud, staring me smack dab in the face....you know, the kind of act where chill bumps travel down your spine and every hair on your arm stands straight up.
Yesterday was much like every other day, full of school, mothering, and errand-running all over town.  Because of a rare consignment sale being open, I decided we would squeeze a shopping trip into an already jam-packed morning.  Happily, we raced to get in the van, and paused like we always do when I drive, to say a prayer for safety and thanksgiving (and also forgiveness for crabbiness, but I'll save that for another post ;-).  We zipped through the sale, got in line with even a few minutes to spare to get Big Sister to her class on time.  That's when all of my planning and clocking went down the drain.  With only one person in front of me, with only a few items in her hands, the minutes slowly ticked by...5 minutes, 10 minutes...It made absolutely NO sense!  I began to steam and tap my foot.  Finally it was my turn, I gave the keys to the kids, told them to go get buckled, and we were going to fly out of here as soon as I checked out.  And then, another 5 minutes clicked by as the credit card machine decided to fail over and over again.  Finally, 15 minutes behind schedule, we were loaded in the van and screeching out of the lot.  (Okay, maybe not screeching...I do try to be extra safe behind the wheel).
I told the kids I was sorry it took so long, and explained that I had absolutely no explanation for that long of a check out.  I reiterated, as I sometimes do during disappointments,  that I don't know why these things happen sometimes, but perhaps there is an unknown reason and we should try to make the best of it.  Then, 12 minutes down the road, God showed me.
Flashing lights and sirens blocked my way.  Shattered, tangled, and mangled vehicles were tossed here and there in every direction in the middle of the intersection.  First responders were just arriving on the scene.  And tears streamed down my face as I turned to look at my five precious sets of wide eyed babies, still alive.  "This is why!" echoed the passengers in my van.
Oh, how we prayed and thanked our good Father for stalling that line, for blocking that credit card machine, and for saving us to be here witnessing of Him yet another day.  We prayed for those in the accident, who were thankfully okay, knowing that had we been there at that moment of collision, it would be a very different story for each of us.
May the God of us all, who sees beyond the moment, continue to open our eyes to his power and might.  And may I be a testimony to my little ones to point it out again and again.

Don't Cry over Spilled Tea

Oh, to be a mom filled with patience and kindness...a mom who takes each stressful moment and turns it into a training experience for her children where it happily ends in hugs and love and joy all around.  At the end of the day, when I lay my head on my pillow and go over all of those tense moments of the day when I should have breathed first before reacting,  or had a soft answer instead of harsh, I pray for the calm and wisdom to seize the day and touch these hearts entrusted to me.

After reading another mother's experience with a dropped cake, I hid her lesson in my heart and promised myself that I, too, could react in love.  Little did I know that the Lord had heard my vow and would put me to the test.

On this particular "teaching me" Sunday,  we were hosting a large lunch with many guests after worship services.  Being the planner that I am and knowing that chaos is always at it's peak on a rushed Sunday morning, I'd already done the cleaning, the setting of tables, the list of what to pull out after church, and even had the dinner in the crockpot.  I was feeling on top of things, which is a rarity now that #5 has joined the crew.  The kids were dressed, the Bibles were gathered, and that's when my eldest decided to be helpful.  To help get her brother's milk from the fridge, she gingerly reached around the full gallon of sweet tea on the top shelf of the refrigerator.  It was one of those moments where time stands still as everyone watches helplessly as the fast falling pitcher dropped from the shelf, poured it's contents over every shelf of the refrigerator, seeped through the rug, pooled an inch deep of sticky brown puddles across the freshly mopped floor, and proceeded to flood into the pantry soaking every item in it's wake...a moment that she, nor I, will ever forget.  My normal reaction would be to yell, cry, question her barbaric actions, and storm about madly, while frantically cleaning, raging, and questioning, "Why, dear Lord? Why?!?!"  But this day, this blessed day, I actually rose to the challenge.  Before her face could even fall and the tears begin to burst from her eyes, I grabbed her in a hug and told her it was all okay.  I assured her that it was a mess that was easily cleaned and a gallon simply remade.  I reminded her that I make mistakes all of the time and it could have easily happened to me.  And I thanked her!  What a wonderful daughter I have, who would volunteer to help to try and ease my load.  She is a constant blessing to me, and I never want her to forget that.

Our Father is so good to take us in His arms time and again, whether it be our accidental slip or a failure we've done for the hundredth time.  I'm thankful that He allowed me another chance to finally get it right, and I'm prayerful that His reminder will play in my head the next time this challenge arises...which knowing my family, may be before this post even makes it to save.
I may not always get this mama-thing done right, but thank the Lord for friends' encouragement and clumsy children that provide me with lots of chances.

Bullying Unaware

In today's hyper-sensitive awareness to bullying, it surprises me how much I see it happening daily.  I think we are all very aware of the bullying that occurs when words are used to tear each other down, or when actions are used to make someone feel bad about themselves.  The bullying I am talking about is that of absence - an absence of inclusion, an absence of caring, an absence of reaching out.

We've all been in situations where we feel excluded.  It may be as simple as being left out of a conversation, or feeling awkward in a room where everyone else seems to be in on something you are not, or even just feeling like you are present but everyone else seems to think you are invisible.  Putting it simply - It's not a good feeling!

What makes the difference in a circumstance like that?  All of us know, because all of us have been rescued by some sweet, caring soul who has reached out.  He/she took a moment to acknowledge our presence, to come say something/anything, to let us know that we were noticed and wanted. It sounds easy enough, yet it takes awareness.  It takes effort to notice someone feeling this way, and commit to making it different for them.

We often hear the story of the Good Samaritan and we wag our heads in disbelief.  How could that priest or the child of God, Levite walk by...completely ignoring, pretending not to see or have the time to help?  Yet, how many times have we sat in our seats, knowing there was someone who needed a "hello" or conversed in a room full of people and been too busy to reach out to the uncomfortable.  This omission of kindness should shame us.

I've been on both sides of this. I've been the one feeling ostracized and I've been the one too wrapped up in myself and my conversation to go out of the way for someone hurting.  I've also seen it happening to my own children.  I don't like it, and I'd love to rescue them from it, but it is true that character can be built and trained from uncomfortable circumstances such as this.  Instead of fueling their hurt and anxiety from being left out or uninvited, I try to encourage them to be that much more aware of others struggling with the same feelings and learn to reach out, to remember how it felt when they were the one and to make it their mission to rescue a kindred spirit.  If only we can take a second to look around a room, it is obvious who needs our attention.  It may not be in our comfort-zone to go sit with them, or invite them over, but every single bit helps and the more we do it, the more comfortable we will be with it.

Please take a moment to think of those who are looking over with longing eyes, reach out to them in even the tiniest of ways.  It won't only help them feel better, but you may make an amazing friendship you would have completely missed out on.  Yes, enjoy your friends, fellowship with your brothers and sisters, but welcome others (even if you don't think they want it); it can only do good.

Living in Fear

I'm obsessed with safety.  Ever since becoming a mom, I have developed this keen sense of awareness for anything that has potential to be dangerous.  Sharp objects, no railings, careless behavior, illnesses, and stranger-danger put me on high alert non-stop.  I strive for a good balance of not being overly parental but cautious....I don't put my kids in a bubble, although there are times I've been tempted.  I thank God every night that I am able to tuck those kiddoes into bed, and every morning I wake to their smiles.  Another day survived...success!

Though recently, it seems like every where I turn dangers are threatening.  We recently completed a series of camping trips where I was definitely on edge.  Admittedly, sleeping in the wild is a bit out of my comfort zone.   I feel like I have to detach from my brain to survive the trip, otherwise the only words out of my mouth are "Stay away from the fire.  Watch out for spiders, snakes, and scorpions.  Don't go too far; stay where I can see you," and the list goes on exponentially.  In spite of all my cautionary warnings, still someone ended up picking up a glowing rock that fell out of the fire, someone nearly stepped on a scorpion barefoot, and a pair of children's pants will forever be lost to cactus quills.  Even with all of the dangers out there, a good time was had by all and precious memories will be carried with them throughout their lives.

Now even back in my home-sweet-home, I am faced with constant warnings of danger.  All I see is Ebola, Paralyzing Eterovirus, and Child Predators.  It is freaking me out!  I want to go into hibernation mode, and take my family with me into hiding.  Yet, I know this is no way to live.

How do we balance being aware with living in fear?  Where is the line drawn between being careless and being wisely cautious?   Surely the answers can be found in the Good Book.

Our wise all-knowing Parent sends us reminders:
- "Do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul."
- "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
- "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

His list of warnings and comforts goes on and on.  Although I still long for health and safety for these precious ones bestowed to my care, I know that He has us all in his hands.  Even though I'm not leaving home without our hand-cleaner and Thieves oil,  I trust Him.  He knows the end of the matter, and He promises that all will be well in the end, if we are true and faithful.  I pray He helps me remember the big picture and thank Him for his amazing grace.

Morning Moodiness

    Starting your day off with negativity is miserable!  How do you wash clean of that and feel fresh and ready to go on with a good day?  We've all woken up on the wrong side of the bed, and often things go wrong without our permission (i.e. waking to a pot of coffee all over the counter and floor due to a clogged filter), but does this give us the right to bring others down with us?
    I remember those days of driving to work in downtown Atlanta and how a traffic jam could sour my day, or a rude driver's impatient honk could put me on edge for another hour or so.  I greatly admire those positive people who can smile when frowned at, can turn the other cheek when slapped, and can bless someone when spit upon.  I, sadly, struggle with this.  I am a people-pleaser and when people aren't pleased with me, I tend to obsess and dwell on it until it absorbs me completely. My poor family has endured many of my morning-moodiness, but they know I definitely try to take a break, a breath, and start fresh.  Even though my children insist upon a wake-up call at 7 am daily...school day or weekend, early turn in or late night, I know that the way I greet them each morning will set the tone for their day.  So this not-so-early-morning-person puts on a happy face, and gladly greets them so that the first words they hear are, "I love you!"  Our morning coffees and milks during Bible lesson are a calming soothing start to our day, plus give me a few quiet minutes to wake up to the right priorities.  Yet, often in a family of 6, someone did not wake up on the right side of the bed and the mood spreads through us all, like an illness weeding its way into all of our hearts.  This is when the Preachy side of Mom comes out and I remind them of how we "should" behave, or how we "should" forgive and move on (often I've been known to even lecture myself on this).  You know what?!  Those crazy kids CAN.  They let it go, and within minutes are humming along their merry way.  How can an "I'm sorry" or a shared smile solve their grievances?
    I pray the Lord teach me to be as a child, to forgive, to forget, to not take personally the trials of the day, but to bless others and spread His love instead of the gloom that threatens to blacken my moods and hang over the blessings that I might miss.

Little Hand Pats of Wisdom

     It's hard as a parent to see our children's hopes dashed and the disappointment fill their eyes.  From canceled playdates, to moving friends, to loss of loved ones, to even rained out events - it's never easy, but it is part of life.
     I've tried to let them have their disappointments and griefs, but also try to teach them to find a brightness, help them to put their trust in Him, even when it's tough.  Things don't always go our way, but He knows where they are going and we can count on His love.
    Yesterday, my long awaited plans to go to Sam's Club (yes, this is an excitement for me...don't judge :-), came crashing down around me in the form of a rare and unexpected rain storm in our dry little city. 

My kids sensed my disappointment (maybe the loud sighs and groans gave them an inkling of a hint).  Instead of jumping for joy for having once again dodged the trip, those sweeties rubbed my back.  Suddenly, I heard little voices repeating my words back to me.
"Maybe God had a different plan."
"Think of a good thing - now you can rest on the couch, and watch me play this game."
"At least it's good that we're getting rain."
"It's okay.  We love you!"
     I love that they have learned not only how to deal with let downs, but also how to comfort someone else when they see it needed.  Thanks be to God for these little blessings who so often are the ones teaching and reminding me to keep my eyes on Him.

The Worst Place to Be

     One of the kids' favorite pastimes is to ask favorites and worsts.  What is your favorite restaurant? What is the worst smell?  It's fun to hear how their opinions are so much alike and also so totally opposite.
     Recently, the question arose, "What is the worst place to be?"  The girls answered things like, "being sick with the stomach bug" or "being in a tornado."  But Little Mister trumped them all with his emphatic announcement, "Wrong!  The worst place to be is stuck in the middle of a giant broccoli!"
     Ha!  That is a rather difficult situation to find one's self....especially if you despise broccoli as much as my little guy. :-)