- If you leave your trash can lid at the curb to pick up tomorrow, you won't see it again until the Spring.
- When running errands with four children, "No snow angels!" must be specified or everyone will be drenched within the few seconds it takes to get from the front door to the van.
- If you slip into your "cute" boots with no traction to just make a quick run outside, it will triple the length of time it takes to get back inside (plus your knees will be soaked from crawling back up the hill several times).
- If you think you will be the only one in the grocery store on the first day of the blizzard, you are sadly mistaken. You'll just be the one circling the parking lot looking for a spot.
-Just because Atlanta-life comes to a screaching hault with merely the threat of snow flurries, it doesn't necessarily imply that New Jersey slows down with snow-icanes.
- If you think a spider is dead just because he is frozen solid, most likely you are wrong.
-There is a muscle that runs from under your arm and wraps around your back and up through your neck. It can easily be discovered and exercised by shoveling huge amounts of snow.
-Your shoveled driveway is magically recoated after an hour long trip to the store, and will need reshoveled to allow re-entrance.
-Never turn the wipers on when they are frozen solid. A long piece of plastic will then rip off and dangle, making them basically worthless.
-Black squirrels and seagulls still come out in the dead of winter. They just look more intimidating with their extra 3 layers of fur and feathers.
-During winter months, for each load of laundry completed, another two have developed.
-Static hair and static-shocking is a non-stop form of entertainment/torture depending on one's mood.
-If you plan many exciting events for the same weekend, the harmless cloud on the radar will suddenly morph into a "paralyzing blizzard" headed your way.
-When forcing a door to the outside open against the impacted snow, the door gives out before the snow.
-Snow makes everything look more beautiful and enchanting.
-Winter is much more tolerable, and even enjoyable when your kids come in with their rosey cheeks, teary frozen eyes, runny noses, and chapped grins shouting out all of their wonderful adventures in this new land of New Jersey snow!
Laughing; with you, mostly... oh okay, at you, mostly. I can do that because I still live in one of those "shuts-down-when-they-use-the-"s"-word-on-the-news" areas. :-D
ReplyDeleteI thought that yourt #1 pick would be, "I miss Florida." ;)
ReplyDeleteHilarious. This describes the northern states perfectly especially to those of us from the southern states. Sounds like jokes from a professional, you might be a northerner if... Funniest because they are so true.
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