I Fell in the Water They Walked On

Have you ever seen other parents doing everything right? They have the answers. They have the well behaved kids to prove they know what they’re doing. They have the smiles and encouragements. And then you see yourself, a big hot mess of fumbles just smiling along trying your best.  I feel like they’re walking on water, and I’m down here doing the backstroke.

In the Old Testament there’s this king named Rehoboam who was given advice by the elders, but instead he consulted his inexperienced peers and all sorts of bad consequences followed.  I’ve often thought of him on my parenting journey. In one ear, I’ve got these older examples and friends leading and advising how to do this parenting thing and then in my other ear I’ve got this world of social media and propaganda blaring that I’ve got it all wrong.

  I’ve seen a lot of parents doing their thing, crossing those bridges before I get to them.  I’ve witnessed them letting go as their children age out of the house.  I’ve heard them discuss and advise their children as they face new challenges.  I’ve talked with them, asked questions, and listened to the wisdom they’ve gleaned from running the track before me. They don’t all do it the same, but most of the ones I know are doing it beautifully, even though they themselves would say they’re just getting by, winging it.

I’ve also heard and read so much advice and recommendations from articles, online reading, and various sources of news.  It’s not in line with what I’m seeing play out in real life. It’s telling me to let go of my kids and let them live how they want. It’s advising me not to advise them.  It’s warning against discipline and instruction. It’s guilting me into believing that rules, parameters, and parenting really are just limiting children, and taking away their freedoms and happiness.

Who do I listen to? Which team is right? Boy, do I wrestle with each obstacle that arises.  So I do what any logical person would do when under pressure to make tough decisions….I drink a coffee. 😂

In seriousness though, I look at the results…the kids being raised. I see my friends, who have held the line, kept the rules, stayed down on their knees in prayer daily and their children are BEAUTIFUL; they’ve actually grown into well rounded breathtakingly bright and gracious adults.  They're the kind of people you want to be around more…the kind you want your kids to look up to and be like.  Sadly, I’ve witnessed the opposite, too; either parents let loose of the reigns too early or the children just decided to jump the fence and go their own way. Whatever the case, I want to heed the elders’ advice and keep with it, no matter how hard that may be. I want my children to be like Jesus and better this world for Him. In the end, it’s their choice how to live, but you better believe I’m going to try my best to give them a fighting chance and a strong foundation.

I try to walk on water like my friends seem to be doing, making good decisions, parenting in love and patience, but I’ll be honest, I keep slipping in.  I make mistakes, but I keep getting back up again.   I’m so thankful for friends and family who grab my hand and pull me back up, remind me why I’m doing this, remind me to keep my eyes on Christ, help me see His way is best for myself and for my kids. May we all keep our heads above water and our eyes on the one who has all of the answers. Thankfully, He is loyal and gracious. He’s got us, and together we’ve got them.